Правила поведения на борту самолёта

Вашему вниманию представлены правила поведения на борту Airtoons Airboat A740. Воспринимайте эти правила как можно серьёзнее и прекратите игнорировать Ваших бортпроводников!

  • Urinating in the ocean is not polite.
  • Nailed the dismount.
  • Fart masks will be deployed in the event of unexpected flatulence.
  • Look under our seats for a world of change!
  • Old electronics are bad news.
  • Water-powered lighters have a 100% failure rate.
  • Twinning is not permitted on this flight.
  • Try to aim for the toilet please.
  • Gotta hang on to something!
  • This may also lead to severe back pain.
  • Yummy red licorice for those boring water-treading times.
  • To ensure an expedited evacuation, please limit thumb wrestling matches to two minutes each.
  • I spy... something blue!
  • See Jake enjoy the fun slide.
  • Should you spot a house fly you must sneak up behind it as slow as humanly possible.
  • ...Although muff rubbing definately is.
  • Life vest fashion statement.
  • BabyStick(tm)
  • Our AirCondoms feature SemenSuck™ technology.
  • Dwarves need oxygen too.
  • What's that?! It's Pat.
  • Seamstress.
  • Concentrate. Don't let it get to you.
  • Purple flour plant workers.
  • Industrial-strength too! Holds up to four times the assweight of competing suspenders.
  • Rolled up money not included.
  • BEWARE THE FLOATING RED X!
  • We have a strict no-80's-hair policy. By boarding this aircraft you agree to these terms.
  • SHUT THE DOOR ALL THE WAY, OKAY?!
  • If you hear a hissing sound, back slowly away from the edge of the raft.
  • Can I get a woo woo?
  • THIS IS NOT AN EXIT. (?)
  • THIS IS A SMUT-FREE AIRLINE!
  • Oh heavens, excuse me! I must have passed gas!
  • Remember when JNCO jeans used to be cool?
  • HIeeee-YA! Judo CHOP! Get outta my way, bitches!
  • Floatation ouch!
  • 25 CENT PEEP SHOWS!
  • Whip it good!
  • Rusty makes a break for the exit carrying the Purple Magicman's Bag of Tricks!
  • Village People groupies love flying the friendly skies.
  • Synchronized Airplane Exiting: The latest addition to the Summer Olympic Games.
  • No smoking oversized white bandana-wearing cigarettes!
  • Beware of SHE-HULK!
  • SHE-HULK vs. Bryant Gumbel.
  • Wave to the fish. They get lonely.
  • Be Wireless. But dont be cheap.
  • VIOLET-SWEATERED MOMS GET OXYGEN DIBS!
  • If you open the door mid-flight, your ass is outta here.
  • Look at your shoes! Why can't you just wear normal brown ones like me?!
  • If you sit on your watch it will probably break.
  • Peer pressure will not be tolerated.
  • Free mechanical bananas can be found within floating tents.
  • Be sure to slip into your blue 70s wet suit before a water landing.
  • Please be aware that concrete DOES NOT float.
  • Fantastic Dan may decide to give you a pat or two on the behind.
  • Mask protects against eggs falling from ceiling.
  • If you can't figure out how to open the emergency exit, you were doomed from the start.
  • Passengers with extensive wax buildup will be forced to leave the aircraft.
  • It's ok to exit on the wing if the line exiting the plane is going too slow.

Другие пособия по безопасности

В случае ядерной атаки строго придерживайтесь данным правилам!

  • Drive in reverse into the explosion to avoid facial burn.
  • Your car will notify you if it is horny.
  • Listen to the sounds of the 70's on your 70's stereo.
  • This is the recommended way to destroy old computer equipment.
  • Don't let filing cabinets to team up and sexually harass you.
  • The window can't tell you what to do. Who does it think it is?
  • Let the boombox play as you enjoy your day in every way.
  • Do not use elevators if they look dumb.
  • After using a public phone, wash up.
  • Don't bet on bird vs. fish fights. Because come on, 3 fish vs. one bird?
  • If you see a biohazard sign, keep on trucking, man.
  • What a messed up dream.
  • The dwarf sanctuary entrance may be smaller than normal entrances.
  • Don't run from fire, you're pretty much screwed at that point.
  • Staring at the wall can cause radioactive harm to your person.
  • Actually, you have 5 minutes and 12 seconds left to live.
  • Car would crash into house, but house would stand victorious.
  • Do not be afraid to backhand someone if they come in without knocking first.
  • Texas is radioactive and it's big and ugly and weird.
  • The pilot episode for Superman didn't take off because of his crawl-fly style
  • YARRR gimme your money, I'm captain blue bandit.
  • Get consent before mounting, otherwise things could go awry.
  • To dislocate your shoulder, hit it up against the door REALLY HARD.

Что такое Airtoons?

Пародии на правила поведения!

Будучи студентом, я сидел в самолёте и ждал взлёта, когда понял, что картинки с правилами поведения не имеют комментариев. Мне это показалось странным.

Про себя я подумал , "Этот чувак, похоже, жуёт свой спасательный жилет?!" Вот так мне и пришла идея создать свои собственные подписи.

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